


death may be the greatest of all human blessings (but you're mine)

by odekarnstein



Series: survival of the richest [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - J. Sheridan Le Fanu
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mentor!Carmilla, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tribute!Laura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 19:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5218667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odekarnstein/pseuds/odekarnstein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> “C’mon Cupcake. Just close your eyes and do it.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s as if she heard you. She makes it quick and simple. She grabs her stuff and runs deeper into the woods for another minute or so before climbing a tree. As soon as she gets as high as possible, she secures her three bags and gets sick when she hears two canons.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Danny turns away and Perry leaves the room. You just run your hand through your hair and whisper, “She’s safe." </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	death may be the greatest of all human blessings (but you're mine)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Hunger Games au so you know, there's gonna be death and stuff. I put underage because Carmilla's 18 and Laura's 16. Nothing really happens but just encase that bothers people.
> 
> This is set before book canon and some of the stuff may be wrong (it's been years since i've read the series) because i mainly pulled info from the wikia.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!

 

**You hate the idea** of mentoring. All you could tell the kids were that they needed to be impressive and charismatic. Try to get as may sponsors as possible and learn as many survival skills as you can in two weeks. Most of them know how to use an ax already. None of them have survived since you’ve one. In five years you haven’t saved one kids life. You’ve learned to not even bother learning their names. There isn’t really a point because the only people that will is their family. You push your feelings away for two months of the year because that’s the only way you can cope sending kids to their death.

So when you see Laura Hollis being pulled up to the stage, something makes her name stick. Maybe it’s the way she returns a smile when Perry smiles sadly or when she just stared at the crowd. Like she was expecting the punch line. She reminds you of yourself when you got pulled. _She looks pissed._ The guy doesn’t look much happier. They shake hands and the kid goes back to looking at his feet, but Laura keeps looking at the crowd.

She doesn’t look scared.

When you’re walking to the train with Danny, you feel yourself get pulled to the side and the first instinct is to just run but you turn around and recognized the man as Laura’s dad, he started to yell when they called her name. He looks like he’s been crying. It makes him look so tiny even though he towers over you.

“Promise me you’ll keep her safe.”

One of the peacekeepers start to walk over, you probably look as uncomfortable as you feel and they think he’s bothering you. You throw your hand up to tell them to stop. You won’t be able to stay for long, since there is a schedule.

You just shrug, “I’ll do what I can.”

“That’s not enough.”

“Well, That’s all I can give _sir.”_

You pull your arm away from him and walk into the train. You never talk to parents or families; they never talk to you. You weren’t suppose to survive. And you aren’t in the mood to deal with tributes but that’s the only reason you’re alive.

 

* * *

 

**You stay in the bar** for the first half of the trip. You don’t even drink but the smell of whiskey reminds you of your dad. It reminds you of when your family would have holiday or birthday parties. Of happy times. You stay in there until you get the guts to go visit the tributes.

Walking into the cart with the tributes makes your heart sink. Danny, the girl who mentored you, is talking to the boy. He doesn’t look any older than fourteen. Laura is sitting in the corner of the cart with a pile of cookies on a plate, she’s looking at the terrain flying past. You don’t understand how she does it without getting nauseous. You sit across from her and throw your legs up on the table. From what you’ve gathered, she’s sixteen and really has no chance. You try to watch the window but you get sick only after a minute. You sigh and lean your head back. Why were you even trying?

She doesn’t even bat an eye before asking, “How did you survive?”

“I just promised myself and my sister I would come back home.”

“And?”

“You can’t break one of Mattie’s promises.”

“You expect me to win because I promise myself I will?” Laura looks at you ridiculously, “That makes no sense.”

“Who said it had to make sense?”

She just shook her head, “You’re suppose to help me win.”

“Twenty-three kids won’t walk out of that arena. What makes you feel so special?”

“I thought I had someone who knows what their doing as a mentor.”

You shake your head, “You can train for years, but still you’ll have no idea what you’re doing in those games.”

She looks kinda pissed and kinda surprised at the comment. She gets up when she runs out of cookies and moves to the other side of the cart. At least you did try.

Laura talked to Danny when you were a few minutes away from the Capital. Their voices were barely above a whisper and they would glance up at you. Your pretty sure you hear Danny whisper something about how you’ve always been an ass and you don’t know how to deal with people. You would call her out but she’s right. Tributes never talked to you, unless they had too. The only good thing about you being their mentor is that you’ve grown up knowing how to charm the hell out of people; so you know how to get them sponsors. Perry comes in the cart and announces that you’re about five minutes away from the Capital. Laura tears away from her conversation to run to the window. She almost falls over a chair in the process.

“You good, cupcake?”

She nods, “It’s just like she said it was.”

“Your mom was a tribute?”

“47th Games. She died in an accident at home though.”

You think it’s strange that she isn’t fazed when she says that.

* * *

 

**At the Tribute Parade,** they dress Laura up as a tree and Kyle, you finally bother to learn his name, as a lumberjack. It looks ridiculous but at least the both aren’t trees. You give them the run down of what they are suppose to do and that this is to catch your sponsors eye, so they need to make a good first impression. Laura nods along during the whole thing and Kyle just shrugs. When they get in the chariot, you and Danny wish them good luck.

“I really hope Kyle doesn’t ruin Laura’s chance.” You say to her.

Danny smirks, “Finally have a tribute you wanna keep alive, Fangface.”

“You wish, Xena.”

You both turn to the T.V. screen when the crowd basically explodes. The announcer starts talking about Laura, and the camera zooms in on her waving.

“She’s only five-one. How do you think she’ll make it in the arena?”

The other announcer laughs, “With Karnstein as her mentor, I’m sure they’ve got some tricks up their sleeve.”

* * *

 

**You always feel uncomfortable** eating dinners during the games. You’re so used to eating alone and the food reminds you of what happened four years ago. You pick at your food while Danny talks. She’s talking what they need to focus on during training. Telling them it’s all about survival skills. Personally, it really isn’t. But you nod along and throw in a hint then and there. They bring the main course out and it’s meatloaf. Laura squeals and talks about how it’s her favorite and digs right in. You take a couple bites before offering the rest to her. She gives you a look but takes it from your plate. You eat another roll and listen to Danny talk again.

“They’re gonna try to go after the both of you. Kyle, you’re the youngest one here and Laura, you’re the shortest. You need to stay away from them. Don’t let them get to you.”

You chuckle, “They should do the opposite. Show off. You know what to do with an ax. If not I’m sure you know how to climb.”

“Then the other tributes will target them.” Danny glares.

“They will anyways. They look the weakest of the bunch. Give them something to be scared of.”

Perry tries to intervene, “Why don’t you let them choose?”

Perry is one of the less… _flamboyant_ people you’ve met from the capital. She keeps most of her physical features to their natural state, natural curly hair and color, not much make up either. Though, she does wear the strange clothes. She’s got a mother’s instinct and treats you and Danny like her kids, even though she’s only in her twenties.

Kyle shrugs and continues eating. Laura is staring at you.

“I’m gonna go with Carmilla. It’s only been a couple years since she was there and I don’t want to be seen as weak. I need to prove myself.” She holds her head high while talking.

You chuckle and pull another roll from the basket, “You were what, ten when I got pulled?”

“Eleven.”

The group talks a little more after that. You stay out of the conversations though, Laura is talking about some Tv show to Danny and Kyle and Perry are talking about the jobs in the Districts. Laura tries to make small talk but you just respond with series of _‘yeahs’_ and _‘mmhms’_ before you piss her off enough to stop talking to you. Her and Danny start to whisper again and you roll your eyes, they aren’t even being subtle. You leave before dessert and read in the living room. Kyle comes in and watches the news before bed and Danny comes by and says goodnight and tells you everyone is heading to bed. You wait till you hear her door close to get up to and go to your room. It was close to twelve so you'd figure everyone would be asleep; tomorrow's one of the biggest days of the two weeks. Instead, you find Laura in the hallway. Apparently she got the room across from yours and was locked out, she was sitting with her head against the door and her eyes closed.

“What did you do in District 7?”

She jumps and turns around. And looks confused at your question, “What do you mean?”

“Did you go to school? Work?”

“I went to school and would help my dad bring back logs in the evening. Why?”

“Here’s me helping you: work on accuracy tomorrow. Dodging, throwing, and aiming. After lunch go through survival skills. You’re gonna need those.”

“Uh, thanks.”

You walk into your room with a shrug, "Click the button above the handle."

* * *

 

**Laura seems to tolerate you more** as she progresses through training. After the first required days of group training, she goes on to doing it in private. You sit in with a couple of sponsors you talked to one afternoon, and everything you said about her having a low chance of surviving. She knows what she’s doing. Every time she threw an ax, it hit the center of the target and she can throw a twenty pound weight like it’s nothing. She flies through the survival skills. The only thing you notice she has a problem with is hand-on-hand combat. She doesn’t know how to move or where to hit. With only a couple days left before the big sponsors and receiving scoring; you become worried.

Mentally, you know you shouldn’t care because she’s over achieving in everything else, but it’s the Hunger Games. They might send them out there with no weapons. Just a couple rocks and tree branches.

That night, after dinner, you knock on the door of her room. You can hear music playing in the background and she’s sweating when she opens the door.

“Carmilla?”

“Hey, cupcake,” You squeeze past her and sit on the bed, “I wanted to talk about your training.”

You try not to focus on the way her tank-top is sticking to her stomach when she sits on the bed next to you.

“You said I was doing great at dinner.”

You nod, “More than great. Except there’s one downfall. You don’t know hand-on-hand for shit.”

She shoves you, “Rude.”

“Just speaking the truth.”

“So what do you want me to do? It’s not like I can learn how to perfect that in five days.”

You grin and stand up. You pull some wrap out of your back pocket and spin it on your finger.

“I’m sure you can. Because I happen to be one of the best fighters in District 7”  
She rolls her eyes but stands in front of you. You take her hand and begin to wrap it. Her hands are calloused but aren’t as rough as yours. She looks like she’s blushing as you wrap them, but you figure it’s just from whatever she was doing earlier. When you finish, and start to wrap yours, she starts to ask the questions.

“Is this even allowed?”

You look up and laugh, “Honestly, I don’t know. Just try not to bruise and we’ll be okay.”

She chuckles and tries to copy your position.

“Always keep your legs shoulder length apart,” You say shoving her, she nearly falls over, “Because if you don’t, that’ll happen.”

When she gets the right position, you shove her again, this time she’s able to step back.

“See? Now it’s harder to knock you off balance.”

For about an hour you work on just positioning and how to throw correct punches. She has a habit of twisting her wrist and putting her thumb on the inside of her fist. It takes another hour to teach her how to defend her face and where to throw a punch. You tell her that hitting someone in the face won’t do much unless you’re gouging their eyes or know how to break a nose. You teach her to aim for the throat, collar bone, and stomach. She catches on pretty quickly. Soon, you’re just working on how she should move and watching other’s movements to assume what they’ll do next.

It’s almost three am before you finish.

“I’m spent,” Laura says, falling onto the bed.

You sit next to her and start to unravel the tape.

“Work on identifying tomorrow morning and in the afternoon, work on hand-on-hand with a trainer. That way you can actually punch.”

You stand up to leave but before you can, she calls your name.

“Yeah?”

“Can you stay a little longer? I mean, I probably won’t go bed for another hour or so and it gets really quiet at night.”

“That’s because they soundproof the walls.”

“What?”

“They do it because most of the victors have nightmares. Or when the Tribs start crying in the middle of the night.”

“’Tribs’?”

You shrug and walk back to the bed, “Mentor slang.”

You really don’t know why you’re staying. You shouldn’t get attached; she probably won’t make it. Because Careers train for this stuff for years and can do what she’s learning without a second thought.

Then again, she wants to win. She’s putting so much work into it and she’s just behind the careers in the rankings. It makes her a target. That’s what’s going to get her killed.

“Huh?” She asks.

“In the rankings, you’re behind all of the careers. It makes you a threat to them. A target. Probably to some of the people below you too.”

“And?”

“Watch yourself out there is what I’m saying.”

“Oh,” You already know she’s going to ask a question, “How do you know?”

“Because you’re not making alliances, they wouldn’t want to anyways.”

“Should I try with the others?”

You shake your head, “If you do, and you don’t get killed by careers. You’ll end up dead or killing your ‘friend’”

You tell her a little more on how to survive before going to bed. She was already half asleep when you left.

* * *

 

**On the day of scoring,** there’s a nervous energy at breakfast. You’ve been working with Laura on her defense, and you’re glad she chose axes as what she’ll work with in the presentation. Still, you are nervous for her. She doesn’t need too high of a score; she needs one between five in seven. It’ll make her seem decent.

When she gets back from the gym, she immediately runs and hugs you. Danny winks at you from across the room and you asked what happened.

“They made me stay a little longer. Show off a little more.”

A weight dropped in your stomach but you put on a fake grin, “That’s great, Sundance.”

She smiles and goes to her room to shower and you fall on the couch and groan.

“She’s dead meat.”

“Yeah.” Danny agrees.

That night, after dinner, you all sit in the living room to watch the announcements of the scores. Danny catches your gaze when Laura sits next to you and there’s not even an inch of space between the both of you. You shrug and turn your attention back to the TV. The careers stay up in the nines and tens while everyone else averages around seven or eight this year. They announce Kyle’s score of an eight. Perry and Danny pat him on the back, but he doesn’t seem happy. He leaves for his room right after. You’re choked up when they announce Laura as a ten. You congratulate her but leave right after. Perry is ecstatic and Danny’s got a proud smirk on her face when she asks about drinks.

You’ve got a balcony that connects to your room. You lean against the railing and let the wind cause chills to go up your spine. All you can think about is how Laura is going to be the first one targeted for the careers. She’s going to be the reason for the first canon. You sigh and run your fingers through your hair.

You don’t hear Laura walk up to the railing. You nearly jump out of your skin when she touches your should. You give yourself a minute to catch your breath before you talk.

“You found me.”

She smiles, “It wasn’t that hard. You left your bedroom door open.”

You smirk then sigh, she presses a glass into your hand and asks you what’s wrong.

“Your score,” You cut her off before she can ever ask, “It’s scaring me. It’s to high. They’ll aim for you.”

You hope she can figure it out as an _I’ll loose you._

“I’ll fight.” She says, “I promise you I’ll make it out. I’m sure if you can’t break Mattie’s promise, you can’t break yours.”

“She’s Belmonde now. But maybe it’s a Karnstein thing.” You sigh.

You go rigid when Laura wraps an arm around your waist. You feel her hand just above your scar from a fight, she starts to pull back but you relax. Hoping she doesn’t move. She sighs and leans her head on your shoulder.

“It’s beautiful.”

You nod. She’s looking out toward the lake, you note.

* * *

 

**It’s the night before the interview.** Which means it’s two days before you’ve got to let go of Laura.

You ask an Avox if the can make cookies and hot chocolate, something you’ve been craving for days now. You don’t even connect it to it being Laura’s favorite snack until you find her in the living room. She’s sitting in front of the picture window or whatever it was called, watching what you assume is District 7’s forest. It’s late and everyone has gone to bed, you’d figured Laura would be the first to go to bed, since she’s been so stressed lately.

“You’re up late.”

She turns around and smiles, you feel your heart beat a little faster.

“Standing in front of people make me nervous. I couldn’t sleep.”

When you sit next to her she leans her head on your shoulder. She’s so gentle and it’s so strange to see what she does in the training room and whenever you both find time to practice. You know there are multiple sides to everyone, but Laura is strange. Because tomorrow night she might be so pissed that she’ll just leave again or she might flirt with you with everyone else around. You sigh and lean a little closer.

“You weren’t nervous at the reaping.”

“Because I was pissed.”

You roll your eyes, “When aren’t you now a days?”

“Hey.” She punches your shoulder playfully, “I’m happy. But my possible death looming over me constantly doesn’t mean I’m going to be happy _all_ the time.”

“You’ve got to be tomorrow. You’ve got to impress them. Show them what you are.”

“Tiny.”

You both laugh. But Laura’s voice is serious when she continues to talk.

“They do call me that. I’m the shortest one and they’ll joke about how I’ll be the first out. It is a little disheartening, you know?”

You absentmindedly kiss Laura’s temple. She’s just so close and you want to comfort her in anyway possible. She doesn’t seem to mind. She actually sighs a little and moves closer to you. You both sit there and watch the projection, it’s almost like you can feel the wind that whips some of the branches and pulls some of the leaves from the ground. It’s almost like you’re back at home. Like you met Laura some other way. You jump when an avox brings you the cookies and hot coco; it takes you a minute to breath and calm yourself down. She leans up and watches you closely.

“Is that what happens? When you survive?”

It’s so intrusive. It’s something you’ve never had to answer.

“You don’t really survive the games. You live through it, but you still fight it everyday.” You say, she starts to pour the hot coco.

You shake your head, “I was thirteen when they pulled my name. My sister, Mattie, had just turned nineteen. My little brother will was twelve. I think you know when you’re about to get chosen. You get that sinking feeling. When I stood on that stage, I saw my mother walk away from the reaping and Mattie try to get through the crowd. _I was only thirteen. I was going into a war._ And the stakes of me surviving were low.”

Laura nods as you continue.

“When I saw them before I left, Mother simply gave me a hug, wished me good luck, and told me to survive before she left. William begged me not to go; to figure something out. When Mattie came in, she made me promise I would survive. _You have to come home, Carmilla. I need you. Will needs you. Maman needs you.”_ You quote it as if you heard it yesterday, “I didn’t believe her at first. But before she was pulled out of the room, she gave me a necklace. She said to protect it like it was a piece of her heart.”

Your fingers brush against the anchor hanging on your neck.

“Danny was my mentor. She was only twenty at the time and didn’t really know what she was doing. She just told me to do what I did best and impress people. I wish I knew that meant putting on a fake smile and hiding the fact you really don’t want to be here.” You grin, “In training, I would try to pick fights. They didn’t do anything though, I was the smallest one there and they all thought I was bound to die. I only had a score of six.”

“When I got into that arena; it was a surge of adrenaline and fear. Absolute terror. I just grabbed the closest supply bag, which almost got me killed, and ran for the woods. I saw the lake and the hill but I knew the woods. I grew up and learned in one. The first thing I did was climb a tree and go through my bag. It didn’t give me much. A small knife, tarp, and a rope. That knife is what kept me alive probably.

“I didn’t leave that tree until I was almost dead from dehydration. I was so scared I didn’t bother to eat; I wouldn’t have kept it down. So I climbed down from my safe spot and, somehow and stupidly, ran to the lake. It was clear when I got there. I figured whoever was alive was at the cornucopia. So I filled my bottle up and when I was walking through the clearing, an arrow came out of no where. Then three of the Careers started to whoop like I was just game.”

Laura grabbed your hand, like she’s reminding you she’s still here. You don’t know why, but you place her hand on the scar on your chest. She traces the skin softly then looks back up at you.

“I can’t really piece it together. I remember snapping the arrow and just pushing it towards one of their voices. Then they were screaming and I pulled out my knife. Threw myself at them and I took their stuff and ran again. There were three canons when I ran. _I don’t even remember what I did. I don’t want to.”_

Your breathless for a second and you grab Laura’s hand again, pulling her close, “I stayed in the forest until they called for the feast. There were only four of us left. I’d figured I go at the end, to just kill the last person standing. Apparently someone else was hiding in the forest too, they caught me half-asleep against the tree.”

You lift your shirt to show the scar on your hip.

“It was a twelve year old boy. From Eleven. This was the only good blow he could get before I stabbed him. It was bad. I bled heavily and was getting light headed. I begged for a sponsor. I needed something to stop the bleeding. I don’t really remember getting the lotion though. I don’t think I moved for the rest of the afternoon. I was so scared.

“When I heard two canons, it was around midnight, I got up. I don’t know how. But I got to the cornucopia and the last person was standing there. An seventeen year old career. I thought I was dead. I can only remember parts, but I know that I broke something. I think it was his arm. He caught me though. Told me it was going to be torturous since he didn’t have to worry about anyone else. He sliced my back and before he could do more, he just died.

“They poisoned the bread,” Laura whispered.

You nodded, “I had lost so much weight and changed so much between that and the Victor Parade; everyone wondered what happened. Like they couldn’t see how _obvious_ it was. I tried going back to school, I tried to work. I didn’t need too, but I had to do something to avoid thinking about the games. I worked whatever and didn’t really care what they were paying. The Capital would keep me alive. The first year was hell. Then they made me mentor and I was only fourteen. I would tell them to just hide and hope for the best.

“I’ve been sending kids to their deaths for years now. People still ask why I’m so quiet and why I’m so angry.”

You couldn’t look at Laura the whole time you told her what you haven’t been able to tell people for years. You focused on the forest and tried to ignore her hand rubbing your back and tried to ignore the feeling of wanting to cry. She let you sit there and when you turned around, she looked as hurt as you felt.

“I want you to survive,” You say, barely above a whisper, “But I don’t want you to go through all of that.”

She grins, “But I’ve got you, right?”

You don’t know why you do it, or why Laura let’s you, or if this could kill you because it’s against the rules; but you kiss her. She’s still for a second and you pray to whoever is out there that you didn’t fuck this up. You pray that she feels the same way as you do. You feel yourself relax when she lets out a pleasant sigh and moves her hand into your hair then kisses you back. It’s sweet and sad. You feel surrounded by her. The way her hand slips over your jaw when she rolls her shoulder and her other hand falls against the curve of your back. _You’d do anything for her right now._ You wish you could go back into those games to keep her alive. She doesn’t deserve that. She doesn’t deserve the scars.

You’re pretty sure your lips brush as you whisper, “You’ve got to make it, Laura.”

She nods.

“Your dad needs you.”

She just chuckles when you say that. You probably sound like a broken record to her.

“I need you too.” You say.

You barely have known her for two weeks but you just know. You know you need her.

* * *

 

**She talks about you** during her interview. When they ask I there is a special someone; Laura turns on that happy-sunshine mood and just rattles off about what you’re like. How you're an ass but she couldn't make it without you. She tells them that you're one of the reasons she's ready to fight to win. She just says your good looking when they ask what you look like. At least she tries to keep some of it a secret. They ask her the usual questions. What’s your strongest area, how different is the capital, what’s your mentors and representative like. When they ask her if she thinks she’s going to win, she shrugs.

_“I’d like to think of it as surviving.”_

_“Why?”_

_“How many of the Victors are the same when they come out of that arena?”_

It humors the crowd luckily. Danny slaps your shoulder and says you’ve worn off on her. The rest of her interview goes smoothly. She smiles the whole time and laughs, she tries to make it personal. You hope it works.

* * *

 

**The night before the games,** she blows up and runs off at dinner. It was bound to happen. You can’t pretend that your happy to go to the arena for as long as she did. You excuse yourself to follow her, where you find her on the balcony of your room.

“How’d you get in here?”

She turns around and shrugs. You smile sadly because you can tell she was crying. When you walk walk over to hug her, she sniffles against your jacket and pulls you close as possible. You try to calm her down because she’s shaking but you end up sinking to the ground. She’s sobbing into you and you’re not sure what to do. You just rock her back and forth and whisper into her ear.

After a few minutes, she pulls away and sniffles, “I got your jacket wet.”

You just shake your head, “What set you off?”

“I was watching you. You weren’t eating and from what you’ve told me, you don’t when you are nervous or stressed and I got nervous and Kyle talking about the games just freaked me out and I needed space.”

“You’re finally nervous?”

She nods and rest her head against your chest.

“You can make it.”

“But what if I don’t?” Her voice cracks.

You swallow the lump in your throat. You can’t think of that right now, “Laura, you’ve made it this far. You can’t give up yet. If you don’t think you can do it for yourself then think of it as doing it for your dad.”

“What if I want to do it for you?”

“Whatever keeps you alive.”

She shakes her head but wraps her arms around your waist. She starts to shiver again.

“C’mon, Cupcake, let’s go to bed.”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

It breaks your heart to hear her say that.

“You don’t have to be.”

You basically pick her up and carry her to your bed. She slips off her jeans while you try to find some sweatpants. You usually don’t exactly wear pants to bed.

_"Carm,"_ She whispers, “It’s fine.”

You rub your hands against your thighs before getting in bed too. She curls around you and wraps her arms around your waist. Her fingers run over the skin where your shirt rode up.

You don’t think you’ve slept better in five years.

* * *

 

**Laura wakes you up the next morning.** She kisses down your neck like nothing happened the night before. Like she didn’t say she was going to die. You smile happily and grumble morning. She smiles back at you and says she’ll be back in a minute. You’re sad when she slips out of the bed and out the door. But it’s probably for the best since a peacekeeper will be up soon. To wake the apartment up and watch over everyone.

You get out of bed before he comes though. You think everyone does though. Because today is the day you send kids to their death. Everyone has on fake smiles unless you’re from the Capital of course. When you step into the hallway, you find Laura walking out of her room. She beams at you and kisses your cheek before skipping forward.

Breakfast is silent except for Perry’s nervous talking. Kyle looks like he’s about to vomit and Danny just smirks at you the whole time. You glare and shake your head but it doesn’t budge. Laura eats like it’s her last meal. Which, you hope it isn’t.

After breakfast, you’re all lead down to the ground floor and to where you have to say goodbye. Laura’s look breaks your heart. You’re pretty sure it you talk you’ll start to crying so you just pull her into your arms and you beg to whoever will listen that this won’t be the last time you hold her. When you pull back you have to resist every urge not to kiss her.

So instead you take off one of your bracelets and hand it to her.

“Will you wear it as your token?”

Laura smiles and nods then hugs you one last time.

“You’ll make it, Cupcake.” You whisper before she has to leave.

While being lead away, she turns around and waves at you. Danny wraps an arm around your shoulder and waves back. Then she leads you back to the apartment.

* * *

 

**You really want to kill Laura** in the beginning of the games. She looks like she’s about to step of the pedestal a second early and when she’s running to get a bag, a trident nicks her left bicep. Kyle gets stabbed almost immediately and Danny just sighs and shakes her head. He was going to be the weak link anyways. It looks like it’s set in some northern forest. There’s still snow on the ground, which may just be the gamemakers making it difficult, and the trees are thicker.

It gives Laura a better chance.

There are two people going after her, but she runs straight to the trees. They look close together, some of them look like they’re touching. Laura trips a couple times and you tense up each time. Danny’s whispering a steady stream of ‘C’mon Laura’s’ as the kids catch up to her.

She doesn’t have time to go through her bag, so there’s two choices.

1) Climb a tree

2) Fight them with just her hands

You’re not sure if she can climb fast enough but you hope she’s as good as she made herself out to be, because fighting doesn’t seem like a good idea when one of the kids have a sword and the other has a trident.

“Laura, _just climb a fucking tree.”_ You yell at the TV. Danny laughs at you.

You don’t understand why she doesn’t just climb until the people chasing her start to slow down. It clicks, Laura’s trying to tire them out. Which means she’ll escape or fight them. Which you hope it’s run but when she turns around when they finally stop to catch their breath; she’s going to fight.

She looks around on the ground for a minute and shuffles some of the snow away. After a couple minutes, she grins and pulls up a huge tree branch. You pray that it isn’t dead. The kids start to catch their breath again and your bouncing in your seat when Laura throws the log at them. The thicker part of it manages to hit the guy in the head. He falls like a rag doll. Some of the smaller branches of it hit the girl in her eyes.

Laura runs forward and kicks her just between the knee cap and shin and manages to pull the sword from her hands.

You tense up when she starts to hesitate.

“C’mon Cupcake. Just close your eyes and do it.”

It’s as if she heard you. She makes it quick and simple. She grabs her stuff and runs deeper into the woods for another minute or so before climbing a tree. As soon as she gets as high as possible, she secures her three bags and gets sick when she hears two canons.

Danny turns away and Perry leaves the room. You just run your hand through your hair and whisper, “She’s safe.”

She makes it through the night without anybody finding her too. In the three bags, she finds two blankets, a water container, rope, bungee chord, a torch, flashlight, and lighter. She also kept the sword and managed to go back for the trident. She ties herself to the tree with a quick release knot and falls asleep quickly.

Danny promises to wake you up when Laura does.

* * *

 

**You fell someone shove your shoulder** and you jump up to turn your attention to Laura running again. She held one backpack that looked more like a turtle shell with a trident sticking out of it. There were a couple blows of the canons and the sun was shining instead of the moon.

“How long was I asleep and what the hell is happening?”

Danny rolls her eyes, “It’s the next morning. And I don’t really know. One moment she was sleeping and the next she was climbing down the tree with four people chasing after her. Then there was screaming and growling.”

You focus back on the TV to see a really _large,_ _dark_ object, looming over Laura. There was also the girl from District Nine chasing or maybe just running away from-

“Is that a fucking giant?” Danny asks you.

“The gamemakers are getting creative this year, aren’t they?” Perry says. It’s the most casual you’ve heard her talk since sending the Tributes off.

You sigh, “They were probably tired of Laura just sitting in the tree.”

Everyone nods and watches Laura start to trip over the roots of trees as she gets closer to the opening.  You don't understand how she can throw an ax with perfect accuracy but still trip over obviously sticking out of the ground. You know though that they’re sending her towards the Careers; unless she wants to try to fight a giant. She probably would, you realize. 

“Tell me when she doesn’t die.” You sigh.

“You might wanna watch your girl, Karnstein.”

“She isn’t _my_ girl.”

Laura sprints towards the cornucopia and easily climbs on the top of it. The Careers are to focused on getting her down to notice the giant until it’s shaking the ground around them. As soon as the focus of the Careers is shifted from her and to the giant; she takes off at full speed again. You wonder how she’s even running because you’re pretty sure she hasn’t eaten since she left you and she threw up most of that. But she’s Laura, so you watch with amazement. She sprints to the hillside and tries to run into the forest just past it. But as she’s running up the hill, she slips and literally falls on her face. Half of you wants to laugh and the other half wants to throw something at the TV because she isn’t getting up.

“I swear to god, Laura.”

Then a throwing knife comes out of no where and slices into the back of her thigh. When she screams out, you’re actually relieved. Then there’s the fact that she won’t be able to run as well because there’s a giant gash in the back of her thigh.

“Fuck.”

* * *

 

**You sprint to the room** where most of the sponsors are. Half of them are laughing at what’s happening like it’s a comedy movie. A couple of them walk straight to you when you start to yell about sending Laura supplies. Three men say they’ve been waiting for you since the nick on her bicep and you just laugh because maybe you aren’t that secretive but right now, Laura is probably in the process of getting murdered.

“Who’s willing to send out healing lotion and a wrap.”

The man who made the joke smirks and raises his hand. You’ve never been so happy about a creepy old guy.

* * *

 

**You run back to the apartment** and Laura already has the package when you get there. You hear her curse for the first time when she applies the lotion and when she wraps up her thigh. You notice the body of the District 3 girl next to her.

“Did she…?”

Danny raises her eyebrows, “With the knife that was in her thigh.”

Laura pulls the note out of the box and reads it. She actually smiles and sticks it in her back pocket before pulling herself up. She’s still limping as she runs off but at least she’s safe.

* * *

 

**There are two days** of people not dying. Because most of them are dying because of hypothermia in their respectful places. Laura sleeps in a tree again, but she goes to the ground to create fire and eat food she apparently grabbed off the District 3 girl. You send Danny to go and try to get Laura a sponsor for some food. But before she can even leave, Laura’s fire goes out of hand all the sudden and catches her leg before she can start running away from the forming wildfire.

“I’m going to fight the fucking gamemakers.”

Danny laughs, “Am I making a request for food and burn cream now?”

You nod and watch Laura run out of the woods again. She’s pretty safe. There are only four tributes left besides her. Two of them are from Eleven and Twelve, One of them is a Career, and the last is District Six. Right after she makes it out of the forest, a canon goes off. You hope it’s someone from Eleven or Twelve because they know how to handle the snow, which means it’s a harder fight for Laura.

She makes her way slowly to the Cornucopia. The last Career has to be there. Of course the sponsor drone has to come right before she gets there. The Career is from District One, and he towers over Laura.

Neither of you expect her to run up and punch him in the throat before pulling out her sword and slicing down his chest. He stumbles backwards and she buries the sword into his stomach without a second thought.

She goes to where the drone fell and immediately puts the cream on her ankle.

Danny walks back in the living room and you throw a pillow at her, “You almost got her killed, dumbass.”

It comes off more terrified then you mean too.

* * *

 

**They call for the Feast** the day after Laura kills the Career. She doesn’t really have a choice of going or not since she claimed the Cornucopia as hers. There’s a canon right before the Feast is suppose to start and you know this is it.

This is Laura’s life or death.

The person who runs out of the woods is from District 12, much to your dismay. But they look worse than Laura. She doesn’t notice them running at her and you are screaming at her to turn around before she gets stabbed in the back.

If she doesn’t stop being so oblivious, this is her death.

She doesn’t turn around till they are right behind her and they get a good slice of her chest. She throws her hands up to block the next blow but the tip of the knife catches her forehead and almost hits her eye.

She throws her foot up and kicks the girl in the stomach. It knocks the breath out of her and she falls to her knees. Laura then kicks under her chin and there’s a loud crunching noise when foot meets bone.

Laura grabs the sword and slashes across the girl’s neck.

She made it.

Laura’s coming back.

* * *

 

**When Perry announced** that she’s in the hospital, you sprint to the elevators to get to the floor as soon as possible. When you get to the floor, they make you wait outside. They told you something had happened between the plane and moving her to the hospital. You find your breath catching in your throat and you start to shake. Panic makes you rigid like a cold bucket of water waking you up.

The doctor finally comes back out and tells you what happened and that you can see her.

Laura has gashes across her chest and forehead, bruises all over her body but the grin you get when she sees you tells you she’ll be okay. She tries to talk but somethings happened. You see her mouth ‘Carm’ when you sit next to her on the bed. You lean down to kiss her and she throws her arms around your shoulders and lets out a hoarse squeal. You smile and you mentally thank everyone that let her live and let you have her back. You find yourself chuckling when you pull her into a hug.

“What’s so funny?” She mumbles. She doesn’t sound like your Laura.

“You’re alive and you’re still with me.”

“You’re the reason I’m alive.”

You start to laugh again, “Technically you’re alive because the doctor saved you from having and allergic reaction. To something you knew you were allergic too.”

Laura rolls her eyes, “I knew my dad was allergic to it.”

“You’re safe.” You whisper.

“I’m safe.” She says before kissing you again.

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i literally spent six hours to write 6'000 words of this of the same night im posting so pls apperiate this and enjoy it as much as i did writing this.  
> come talk to me about this if you want. im chill.  
> [My writing tumblr (if you've got headcanons or prompts or whatever)](http://www.odekarnstein.tumblr.com)  
> [My tumblr for the daily idiotic stuff. (aka carmilla)](http://www.carmxllakarnstexn.tumblr.com)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> p.s. the title is a Socrates quote if you didn't catch that  
> p.s.s. i added (but you're mine) part


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